Hello! Welcome to today’s edition of Relationship Friday. Last edition was all about ACCOUNTABILITY. We are going to continue with that today but on Mentorship, getting to know who you and your relationship should be accountable to.
What is Mentorship?
Mentorship is simply a relationship where a less knowledgeable and experienced individual is being taught and guided by a more knowledgeable and experienced person.
Therefore, a Mentor is one who Motivates, Encourages, Guides, Corrects, Teaches and Challenges an individual (mentee) to becoming a better person and actualizing his/her purposes in life.
The two major qualities that makes one a mentor is more knowledge and more experience. That is, your mentor should be more knowledgeable and experienced than you in that subject matter you wish to be mentored, this is not necessarily a function of age.
The challenge I believe most young people have is how to identify and connect with a good mentor. I’m going to share some valid tips with you briefly.
How to identify and connect to a good mentor
As good as Mentorship is, it can also lead to disaster if the Mentorship is bad. Many Relationships have hit the rock because of poor and bad Mentorship. So don’t just go for a mentor, go for a good one.
1. Personality Check: This is the first step I believe you must take to find a good mentor. Mentorship is more Relational than Professional. You should check the personality of the person, know his/her character, lifestyle and qualities. You should not choose a mentor based on his Job or his achievements per se. Remember you want to emulate the person and not his Job, even if you covet his/her achievements, the personality is a key factor to getting that. For instance, you should not make a womanizer your mentor, though he might be wealthy and even be a celebrity but his personality is what will rob off on you and I’m sure you don’t want to be a womanizer. Many people have been taught to go for the achievements rather than personality. These people can’t make you their mentor except you are rich. No, it’s possible to be richer than your mentor but his personality is the key. I’ve seen many so called Godly people who makes ungodly people their Mentors, that’s wrong because very soon you will become ungodly.
2. Study the Person: You also need to study the person. Follow his/her likes and dislikes, study his/her routines, study him/her to know if he/she is truthful, a person of integrity. Study his/her relationship. Does the person easily give in to pressures? Study his level of wisdom and knowledge, study his strengths. Study his relationship with other people. Don’t be carried away by his/her fame or speech, check to see if he his true to his words. I’ve seen some young people after meeting a man for the first time told the man to be their mentor. No. Take time to also study him. He might talk well but that does not mean he does what he says.
3. Build a Relationship with the Person: After studying the person, you don’t just go and ask him/her to be your mentor, build a relationship with him. You can get his number and call him just to check on him, you can ask him/her for advise etc. This is to check if he/she will be interested in mentoring you.
4. Submit to the Person: Having being satisfied of the person’s code of conduct, you must submit to the person. You start by letting the person know that he/she is your mentor and then be ready to listen to the person. Submitting to the person simply means seeing the person as your guide and leader, then listening and obeying the person. Many young people have waited for a mentor to find them, No. You look for a mentor and let him/her know. Never enter into ASSUMED MENTORSHIP. Never assumes he/she knows that he is your mentor especially when you can access him/her, let them know. This will give him/her a sense of responsibility. Also, Never force anyone to be your mentor, don’t pressure him/her, if he wants to he will and if not, let him be.
Also, make sure you carry him/her along in the journey of your life, never assume your mentor to know what you’ve not discussed with him/her, don’t wait for him/her to initiate discussions, be the one to do that. Submitting to your mentor also involves honoring and respecting him/her.
5. God Factor: you can’t exclude this from your life. God’s help is the best form of help a man can receive. You must trust God to help you in finding a right mentor, pray and ask Him to lead you to one.
I believe those few tips will help you locate the right mentor. I’ve heard people categorized mentors, but what I will advise, if you must have a mentor begin by finding a Spiritual Mentor. It’s very important.
Remember, Mentorship is more Relational. Build your relationship with your mentor to a point where you can tell him/her things confidently.
To the success of your Relationship
Samuel Obunikem
